


April

by sophluorescent



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, EXO Ensemble - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Healing, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-04-23 20:54:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19158793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophluorescent/pseuds/sophluorescent
Summary: Spring was supposed to be the season of things coming to life, not for people to die.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt Petal:** #20 Spring was supposed to be the season of things coming to life, not for people to die.  
>  **Author's Note:** Hey! Before we start, I want to send a huge thanks to the prompter; your prompt stuck out to me from the beginning and I'm a slut for soft-angst so I'll admit I jumped on this!! I hope it's something you'll enjoy! 
> 
> Thank you so much to my beta, your encouragement helped me to finish, I never would have without you <3 And lastly, thank you to our mod, you've been wonderful to work with and so encouraging!

He is in  _ Walgreens  _ picking up a quart of ice-cream for Sehun’s birthday party when his card declines, which typically, would be all well and fine, he likes to carry a little bit of cash on him anyways. Except, today, his pockets are empty and his wallet  _ suspiciously  _ barren. He’s about to apologize and return the item when the man behind him speaks up, “It’s cool, I’ll pay if that’s all you’re getting,” asking for permission from Junmyeon even as he tells the cashier not to worry about cancelling the transaction. His voice has a natural rasp to it, a gentle cadence that melts Junmyeon’s anxieties. 

“Really, you don’t have to, but if you’re sure,” Junmyeon says, pushing his hair back nervously. Baekhyun shot Junmyeon a little half smile before stepping up to the counter.

“It’s no problem, don’t worry,” He placates before jabbing his finger at a pack of cigarettes on display behind the counter. “Virginia Slims, please,” sliding his I.D. onto the counter for the cashier, who only glances at it before turning to grab the pack. It gives time for Junmyeon to peek at the card as well and to put a name to the face. If Junmyeon were to describe Baekhyun in any way, it would be that he is mesmerizing. The type of person that is so unapologetically  _ them  _ that you couldn’t help but to be captivated. There’s a confident swagger to the other man, a muted self-assuredness that attracts Junmyeon rather than repels him. He waits for the man to pay before he thanks him, then hurries out the door, only waving goodbye before he’s gone. Baekhyun waves as he unlocks his bike from the rack outside the store and Junmyeon believes that is that.

 

His surprise when Baekhyun traipses through the door of Sehun and Jongin’s apartment about a half hour later is palpable. Baekhyun spots him almost naturally and gives him a little half-wave, the rest of his attention on snagging the birthday boy by the collar and swinging him into a bro-hug. Sehun yelps, then grins, hugging Baekhyun like he’s known him for years. “Everyone! This is my friend Baekhyun,” a loud greeting rumbles through the entire room as everyone pauses their own conversations to acknowledge Baekhyun’s arrival. Sehun’s attention is quickly brought elsewhere and as someone with the attention span of a puppy, he’s gone, just like that, leaving Baekhyun alone.

Junmyeon doesn’t have to deliberate about whether or not he wants to go see Baekhyun personally before the other man is pushing past other party-goers and stalking right up close to Junmyeon. He leans against the bar Junmyeon’s sitting at and grins wolfishly. “Hi,” he says. He chews the inside of his lip, looks slightly out of place, “I didn’t expect to see you here?” 

Junmyeon hums. “I didn’t expect to see  _ you _ here,” he echoes. “How do you know Sehun?” He asks. 

Baekhyun looks over at the spindly boy curled into Jongin’s side on the couch. 

“Sehun used to live in the apartment next to mine,” Baekhyun says, “Somewhere in between crying on balconies and smoking in the fire escape we became friends.” He drums his fingers against the granite, “But now Sehunnie’s rich, so he left me  _ all alone.”  _ Something about the way Baekhyun says it tells Junmyeon he’s not mad. Junmyeon’s also well acquainted with the set of cheap apartments Sehun used to live in, and Baekhyun suits the grunge aesthetic just fine. It’d be hard to picture him in one of these fancy flats “How do you know him,  _ hyung _ ?” Baekhyun says cheekily, setting his chin on his hand and gazing over at Junmyeon with curiosity written all over his features.

“We dated for a few years. You and I might have met before at the apartments?” Junmyeon says in a quick breath of air, simply letting the words sigh out of him. Baekhyun raises an eyebrow curiously, then knowing dawns on his face. 

“You are the one who brought him out to dinner and broke up with him, huh! He came and smoked with me after that, said he couldn’t cry because you were so nice about it,” Baekhyun says. This Junmyeon didn’t know, but he’s not really surprised. Baekhyun exudes a congeniality that would make him an easy ear to tell all your woes to. He’s not surprised that that is how he and Sehun go close. Regardless, Baekhyun doesn’t seem concerned with continuing their conversation about his and Sehun’s relationship, instead redirecting it to something about what they do for a living. Junmyeon’s a playwright, performer, and a bartender by trade, which leads to Baekhyun giving him a high-five exclaiming, “Low salary buddies!” He explains that he is a high-school teacher at a private school. 

Talking about himself to Baekhyun is something that is naturally just  _ easy _ . Baekhyun seems to invite every sentence, his smile coaxing such an easy conversation out of Junmyeon that he’s genuinely surprised with himself. For someone that makes a living of performing, Junmyeon is not someone that finds small talk easy to get into, especially with someone who is essentially a stranger. 

“So, why’d you two break up?” Baekhyun says eventually, curiosity bleeding into his tone. Junmyeon cocks and eyebrow.

“I slept with his sister.” 

Baekhyun gasps, “You didn’t?!” Junmyeon laughs.

“I didn’t, you’re right. I just felt like Sehun and I were too complimentary. Too similar. I wanted to get out and live a little,” he says fondly glancing at the other man. He’s chatting with Jongin, looking at the boy with stars in his eyes as he cuddles up against his chest. Junmyeon doesn’t think he made the wrong choice in the end. He glances back at Baekhyun and finds the other man watching him with a careful glint in his eyes. He blinks slowly, and the look is gone. Baekhyun clears his throat.

“Well, have you lived then?” He asks, tilting his head and quirking a brow. Junmyeon snorts. 

“I don’t know, do I look like I have?” Baekhyun looks like he’s about to answer, but someone Junmyeon doesn’t know appears at his back and capitalizes his attention. Junmyeon watches fondly and moves on to go chat with others.

Sehun’s choice to celebrate on his  _ actual  _ birthday has led to a party on a Thursday night, which means Baekhyun has a full day of classes the next day. He whisks Sehun into a hug then stops by Junmyeon on the way out. “You should give me your number,” he says, stopping Baekhyun before he can walk away. It sounds more like an order than a suggestion, but Baekhyun seems pleased to oblige. He leaves him with a smile and a crush.

 

***

 

“Well, I didn’t expect to see you here,” he hears. Junmyeon looks up from his laptop just as a familiar face pulls out the chair across from him and slings his bag over the back. He unfolds his laptop on Junmyeon’s table as if he belongs there. 

Baekhyun is dressed in a button down and slate grey pants, a grey coat slung over his shoulders. He wriggles out of it and folds it over his lap while Junmyeon watches, then grins in proper greeting. “Sorry, you might not remember me-”

“I do.” He blushes at the admission. Baekhyun snorts, his hair falling into his eyes. He’s a mess, but a captivating one.

“Ooh, was I that interesting?” He says winking. This time, it’s Junmyeon who snorts, glancing back at the scene he’d been writing. “Well, if it makes you less embarrassed, I remember you too, honey,” he purrs. Junmyeon’s again drawn in by his voice, the soft rasp of it, the flirty pitch. Baekhyun grins. 

“Writing a new play?” He asks, clicking away at something on his screen. Junmyeon nods. 

“Something about two guys that meet in _ Walgreens _ . I’m thinking of going with a wanna-be bad boy archetype for the newest character.” 

Baekhyun scoffs, “If I were a wanna-be bad boy I would live it up way more than I do. All I do now is smoke and ride a bike.” He pauses. “A bi-cycle. Not even a  _ motor _ bike.” Junmyeon laughs. Baekhyun grins, pleased at the reaction. They settle back into an amicable quiet, just barely chatting in-between their work. Baekhyun bemoans some papers that he has to grade, Junmyeon encourages him as much as he can to get through it.

“So, you didn’t text,” Baekhyun drawls after he closes his laptop and puts his head down on his arms, gazing at Junmyeon with a mix of curiosity and challenge.

Junmyeon finishes a sentence then leans back and rubs at the back of his neck. “Didn’t want to seem  _ too  _ desperate.”

“What’s wrong with desperate?” Baekhyun asks. Junmyeon looks at him pointedly, but Baekhyun brushes it off. “You’ve gotta live life in the moment, man. Can’t wait on things like that. What if I decided to go get a girl in that time?”

“Who said I was interested?” Junmyeon says, raising an eyebrow. Baekhyun looks at him, then smirks, flicking his hair out of his eyes. 

“You’re interested,” He says smoothly, walking his fingers up the table and over to Junmyeon’s hand. He takes it and squeezes. Junmyeon’s not entirely sure how to handle the situation. He’s interested. Baekhyun’s a storm and Junmyeon’s caught in him already. “And, lucky us, I am too,” He continues, nibbling at his bottom lip.

It shouldn’t be as attractive as it is.

“Then what do we do with this mutual attraction?”

“Fuck, obviously,” Baekhyun says crassly, ignoring the way the woman at the table next to them side-eyes them both. Junmyeon blushes and Baekhyun cackles. “And date and all that, I’m not  _ that  _ much of a commitment-phobe.” Junmyeon sighs in mock-relief, reveling in the gasp Baekhyun lets out.

“Let’s date and leave the rest for later, don’t you think?” Junmyeon says kindly. Baekhyun pouts, but doesn’t press. If anything, the pout is more for show than to be taken seriously. Junmyeon thumbs over his hand, squeezes, then lets go. “I’ve got to finish up this scene, and you’re obviously finished your work, so go home and text me. We can meet up some other time, yeah?” Baekhyun groans, but it’s all good-natured. Junmyeon already knows he and Baekhyun will get along  _ very  _ well. 

“I  _ suppose  _ so!” He gets up, blows Junmyeon a kiss, and slings his bag onto his shoulder. Before he’s able to leave, a gaggle of teens comes through the door. He’s accosted for the next few minutes by who must be his students. Junmyeon’s endeared already, just by watching them interact. 

He shoots Baekhyun a text while he’s standing there.   
  


**[7:40 p.m] Unknown:** have a safe drive! lmk when’s good for a date ;) !

**[7:50 p.m] Unknown:** i always drive safe!!! 

[7:51 p.m] and any day that  _ isn’t  _ a weekday is best,, 

[7:51 p.m] i need my beauty sleep !!

 

***

 

“I can’t believe you’re taking me to a flower festival for our first official date,” Baekhyun comments as he slides into Junmyeon’s car, grinning. Junmyeon returns the smile easily, putting the car in drive and taking them on their way. What he learns about Baekhyun during the drive is that he cannot sit still. He’s always tapping the upholstery or sliding his feet on the floor. Junmyeon comments on it half-way through the drive.

“Ah, if you can’t handle  _ this  _ I don’t know how we’re gonna survive this relationship. Maybe this a deal breaker,” He jokes. Junmyeon rolls his eyes.

“If fidgeting ended our first date before it even started I’d be really worried about us _both,”_ He says. Baekhyun laughs. Junmyeon’s glad his comment doesn’t seem to affect Baekhyun’s mood. He’d be worried if he put any subconscious anxiety on the other man, but given that Baekhyun does nothing to tamper the movements, he’s sure everything’s okay.

Baekhyun gazes at him more than he looks out of the window. For a few minutes, it’s disarming, but soon he gets used to it. Basks in it, even. Baekhyun must notice the shift because he quirks an eyebrow and reaches over to lace their fingers together. “But, to be real, I  _ am  _ excited to go to this fest. It comes literally  _ every  _ April and I’ve never gone. I didn’t grow up here, so it’s not like I went as a kid, you know?” Junmyeon nods.

“I’ve been once, but I was too young to remember. It’ll be like both of our first times!” He says. Baekhyun releases his hand long enough to clap enthusiastically, then relinks their fingers. They’re going to have a good date, Junmyeon can tell just by how easy it is to talk to Baekhyun in the car.

He’s glad. He really is. It’s been a long time since he’s pursued someone and while Sehun always was a homey person, Baekhyun seems like the perfect mix of reserved calculation and wild impulsivity. He and Junmyeon fit together nicely.   
  


After the festival, they collapse in the car. Junmyeon’s about to offer to bring Baekhyun home, but one look at the other man’s expression stops him. Baekhyun’s full of rosy cheeks and bright laughter, mirth exudes from him. He runs a hand through his hair, then bites his lip teasingly. Junmyeon blushes, shivers imperceptibly. His reaction makes Baekhyun sit up. He leans over the center console and cups Junmyeon’s cheek.

“You look starstruck,” he murmurs teasingly. 

Junmyeon grins, raising an eyebrow, “Kiss me?” Baekhyun’s eyes sparkle. They meet each other in the middle, grinning as they do. First kisses, in Junmyeon’s humble opinion, aren’t ever particularly coordinated. A first kiss is a kiss between strangers. But, the next kiss is better, and the one after that even better. Baekhyun kisses sloppily, without as much attention given to it. He’s always doing something else, Junmyeon comes to learn. Right now, he’s got his hand creeping into Junmyeon’s hair, just barely tugging.

The kiss starts sweet and turns raunchy, as all things seem to be with Baekhyun. He tugs Junmyeon’s head back more forcefully, and Junmyeon groans, throaty and full. Baekhyun pulls away, eyes blown wide with lust and interest. They pant softly.

He could ask to take it slow, but, he’s not entirely sure he wants that. Something about Baekhyun lights him afire. He feels insatiable now that he’s had a taste. Baekhyun, he thinks, always  _ was  _ insatiable. Perhaps it was only fate that they rubbed off on each other so quickly.

“Home?” He asks. Baekhyun grins.

“Absolutely,” he breathes. Junmyeon immediately puts the car into drive and starts the route back home. Baekhyun remains somewhat thrown over the console, nibbling at Junmyeon’s neck, playing with his hair. It’s only when he begins to get  _ really  _ distracting that Junmyeon gently pushes him back into his seat. 

As a compromise, Baekhyun takes his hand and brings it over to his lap, places it against the line of his cock, and moans—a low, musical sound far too big for such a small space. Junmyeon strokes down his length but once before withdrawing his hand. “Patience is a virtue,” he hums. 

Baekhyun groans, but keeps his hands to himself for the remaining five minute drive. As soon as the car parks, he’s clumsily opening the door and stepping out. Junmyeon grabs him by the hand and tugs him into the apartment building and into the elevator. They arrive on the fifth floor and stumble over to Junmyeon’s room, a mess of limbs and giggles. “So much for taking it- Ah, slow,”  Junmyeon mumbles against Baekhyun’s lips as he kicks the door shut behind him, maneuvering him through the entrance hall. He drops his keys on the table and toes off his shoes as he walks. 

Baekhyun’s already discarded his coat and shoes, letting them pile in the middle of the walkway. They trip on a bag of old clothes that Junmyeon had planned to donate. Baekhyun lands under him with a thud and a groan. “Your apartment’s fucking messy,” He says even as he tugs Junmyeon down for another kiss, swallowing his response before he can think of it.

Baekhyun’s a storm and Junmyeon’s just along for the ride. He moans into Baekhyun’s mouth, gasps when the other flips them, settling heavily on his hips. He leans down and nibbles at Junmyeon’s neck, bites at the junction with his shoulder. His hands slide under Junmyeon’s shirt and pinch his nipples, pulling a embarrassing moan from Junmyeon’s throat. He clamps his mouth shut.

“I want to hear you,” Baekhyun rasps, licking a line up his neck before pulling back to drag Junmyeon’s shirt over his shoulders. He sits back and grins hungrily. “Almost want to take a picture. You’re so hot,” his eyes twinkle with interest at Junmyeon’s answering moan. 

“Are we not going to make it to the bedroom?” Junmyeon mumbles when Baekhyun slides further down his body, forcing his knees apart. 

“I don’t know, are we?” He unzips Junmyeon’s jeans and pushes open the flaps, nuzzling into his bulge. Junmyeon sucks in a breath, propping himself up on his elbows. Baekhyun mouths over his underwear, looking up at him with a sinful expression. His eyes flutter shut, then he pulls back, biting his lip as he does so. He wriggles Junmyeon’s pants and underwear down to his mid-thigh, then leans back in, taking his cock in hand.

Baekhyun strokes him lazily, watching Junmyeon with a smirk. “ _ Please?”  _ He breathes. Baekhyun hums. He kisses the head of Junmyeon’s cock, revels in the answering moan, swirls his tongue and takes him into his mouth, sinking down without preamble. Junmyeon’s knees jerk, nearly hitting Baekhyun. He pulls off with a pop and readjusts so that he can hold Junmyeon down. 

Baekhyun’s a quick learner. He picks up on what type of touch drives Junmyeon mad. The tease of one of his hands creeping down to his perineum wrestles a moan, lilting and reedy, from Junmyeon’s lips. He pulls off Junmyeon’s cock and kisses his hip, tonguing it briefly, sensually. His gaze flits back up to Junmyeon, dark and lusty. Junmyeon slides his hand up into his hair and coaxes Baekhyun back up his body, gasping when Baekhyun latches onto a nipple on the way up.

“Bed,” he croaks. Baekhyun grins, shark-like as he pulls off of Junmyeon’s chest and finds his feet, hauling Junmyeon up with him. He taps his thighs. Junmyeon quirks an eyebrow, but tentatively helps Baekhyun hook his legs around his waist. They stumble a bit, but make it to the bedroom, ramming into the door by accident before they get it open.

Baekhyun deposits Junmyeon the bed and immediately begins taking off his clothes. Junmyeon kicks the rest of his pants off his legs and onto the floor, relaxing into the sheets. His hand runs down his chest to his groin. He strokes himself slowly, arches ever so slightly into his own hand. 

He notices Baekhyun’s taking a bit and blinks open his eyes, propping himself up. Baekhyun’s got a hand wrapped around his cock, his eyes blown wide with lust. They meet Junmyeon’s gaze, burning and wanton. “You’re so gorgeous, holy shit,” he crawls up the bed and kisses him. He grips their cocks in his hand and thrusts. The friction is delicious, setting his nerves alight, his skin aflame.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Junmyeon whispers incoherently, his eyes squeezing closed, breaking away from the kiss. Baekhyun pants against his face, lost in the please. “I have condoms and lube in the nightstand,” he points out. Baekhyun laughs, breathlessly, as if in disbelief, and rolls over to fetch the aforementioned supplies. Rummaging until he procures them. “Baekhyun,” he whines, “ _ fuck me _ already.”

Baekhyun groans, hooking Junmyeon’s legs on his shoulders and tonguing at his cock, sliding his slick fingers to circle around his hole, teasing, massaging, until Junmyeon’s relaxed enough to let him slip one inside. Junmyeon whimpers. Baekhyun kisses up his shaft, distracting him from the light pain. “So pretty, so, so pretty.” Baekhyun murmurs. Junmyeon wrests his hands in his hair, tugs when Baekhyun adds another finger in beside the first. Baekhyun’s of average length, if Junmyeon was to be honest, but he’s thick. 

He preps Junmyeon lovingly, kissing the inside of his thighs, licking up his length, suckling on the head. The attention borders on too much. Junmyeon’s halfway between wanting to push him away and pull him closer. Baekhyun adds a third finger and nips at his thigh, reveling in the gasp it pulls. He whispers his praises into Junmyeon’s skin, quiet and reverent. He slides his fingers free, wipes them in the bedsheets, and taps Junmyeon’s hip. “Here turn over, it’ll be more comfortable.”

Junmyeon flops onto his stomach, pushing his ass back to meet Baekhyun’s hips. They moan. Baekhyun’s hands shake as he opens the condom packet and slides it on his dick, pumping it a few times before lining up at Junmyeon’s entrance. Their hearts pound in tandem, both of them dizzy with want. Baekhyun’s heat envelopes Junmyeon and he pushes in, slowly, giving Junmyeon time to adjust as he goes. He lets out breathy whimpers that in any other context might be laughable. 

But now, they turn him on. Baekhyun’s hips press flush against his ass and they hold there, catching their breath. Junmyeon turns his head, his cheek resting on the sheets. Baekhyun blinks open his eyes and gives him a strained smile, “Hi beautiful.” He draws back and thrusts back in, slow and deep. They moan in harmony. Sweat mats Baekhyun’s hair to his head, beads on his head. Junmyeon whines and he drops down to kiss him despite the awkward angle. 

Then he sits back up on his knees and takes Junmyeon’s hips in hand, picking up his pace. He trades slow and deep for something quick and shallow. Junmyeon pulls one of his legs up, changing the angle, and moans, his mouth parting into a neat little ‘o’ of surprise as pleasure races through his body like fire. Baekhyun senses the change and angles himself just a bit differently. He hits Junmyeon’s prostate on every other pass, an irregular rhythm that drives Junmyeon wild with want.

“Touch me, please, fucking hell,” Junmyeon murmurs, voice breathy. Baekhyun hums, rearranges them so that he can grip Junmyeon’s cock with one hand without losing his rhythm. It happens anyway as Baekhyun gets closer to the edge. He seems to slow down, focuses his attention on Junmyeon’s cock.

Junmyeon can’t take much more, and it’s made evident by the tremor and twitch in his limbs. By the way moans are punched out of his throat. By the way his breath begins to stutter, and then by the satisfying buzz that clouds the edge of his mind, growing larger every passing second.

He holds up for a minute longer before going tense, his mind zeroing out, dizzying pleasure filling his limbs. He jerks in Baekhyun’s hold, his cock spitting weakly into his hand. Baekhyun groans and continues until he notices Junmyeon twitching from oversensitivity. He pulls back to strip off the condom and wrap his hand against his cock. “Cum on me,” Junmyeon mumbles lazily, pushing his ass up invitingly. Baekhyun chokes on a moan and keels forward, cum splattering on the back of Junmyeon’s thighs as he does so. 

For several minutes, the only sound in the room is panting. Then, light, tinkling laughter. Baekhyun presses a kiss to the small of Junmyeon’s back before getting up. “Where’s your bathroom, I’ll help clean you up.” Junmyeon hums and gestures somewhere out in the hall. Baekhyun rolls his eyes and slides off the bed, leaving the room with a sway to his hips. Junmyeon looks after him and snorts. 

“Hurry up, honey,” he yells. 

 

***

 

“So you two are a thing now?” Sehun asks in May. Junmyeon glances over at him from his place on the couch, laptop balanced on his lap. 

He nods, “Officially since a little after your birthday. In time for the flower festival,” Junmyeon says offhandedly. Sehun hums, rolling his eyes when Junmyeon’s phone lights up with another message.

“Tell him you’re not going to go die in the next five minutes, he can stop texting you for at  _ least  _ that long.” Sehun gets up to go grab more snacks from the kitchen. 

“He just wants to know when he can next come over,” Junmyeon calls. Sehun says something that’s lost between the kitchen and the lounge. 

Sehun tosses him a water bottle when he returns, which Junmyeon barely catches. “Are you ready for your home to smell like cigarettes every time you walk in?” Now it’s Junmyeon’s turn to roll his eyes.

“The place you lived when we dated  _ always  _ smelled like cigs. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll get him to quit.” Sehun snorts at that and begins to go on about how Baekhyun won’t simply  _ stop  _ smoking. He’s practically got nicotine for blood at this point. Junmyeon shakes his head and shoots Baekhyun a text that he’s free Sunday evening at that Baekhyun can bring his schoolbags if he just wants to stay the night.

 

He’s never fallen for someone so fast.


	2. Chapter 2

Christmas rolls around and though he doesn’t celebrate, he gets time off from work, and Baekhyun’s invited him to fly with him to California where his family lives. They’ll have a party, a small gathering of friends and family, there. Baekhyun’s niece and nephew will get to open presents and the rest of the family will probably just drink wine and enjoy each other’s company. It’s exactly the type of gathering that Junmyeon is ready to have. He’s even more interested in seeing Baekhyun’s dynamic with his family. It’s hard to think of the rebellious, sometimes boundary-pushing man as a diligent child, but from all the family stories he hears, it seems that Baekhyun is a model kid. He’ll see if that remains true once he talks to Baekhyun’s mother.

He’s distracted from his thoughts by the feeling of hands circling around his waist, pulling him back so that Baekhyun can perch his chin on Junmyeon’s shoulder. “I can hear you thinking all the way from over there? Are you nervous? You know my family’s cool with… everything.” Their son being gay. He means to say they aren’t homophobic. Junmyeon’s glad, really. He’s told his own parents about Baekhyun, but they’re still getting used to the idea. It hurts, knowing they don’t approve, but Junmyeon can wait. He’ll wait for them to meet him where he’s at. Baekhyun’s family, for now, is big enough for the both of them… assuming he makes a good impression.

“A little,” Junmyeon says, turning to nuzzle into Baekhyun’s hair. His boyfriend laughs, Junmyeon grins and continues, “I’m just worried they’ll say you can do better.”

“Better than Kim Junmyeon? I think not. Sounds impossible,” Baekhyun coos, turns so that he can kiss Junmyeon’s nose. Junmyeon smiles, endeared by the younger man. He’s excited to be going on a trip. He’s more excited to be going on a trip with Baekhyun. Junmyeon feeds Baekhyun the last bit of the ice-cream he’d picked up in the airport and tosses it into a trash can. Baekhyun immediately latches onto his sleeve and begins tugging him towards the gate. Junmyeon lets himself be tugged up until they can both collapse in the chairs at the gate. They aren’t particularly comfortable, but Baekhyun and he had been running late trying to get to the airport, so there’s not going to be a very long wait before their plane begins boarding. 

So, in the meantime, he plays with Baekhyun’s fingers. Or, the fingers on the hand that isn’t sketching. Baekhyun had told him that airports were prime people watching places. Baekhyun’s not a good artist, by any means, but he’s trying his best. When he messes up, he just runs with it. Junmyeon watches the woman across from them morph into an alien by the time Baekhyun tugs his hand away and turns to face Junmyeon. “I’m going to draw you now,” he declares, loudly. Junmyeon snorts, shares a look with the old woman sitting next to him, and turns to give Baekhyun a better reference to look at. The younger man bites his lip concentratedly and focuses on sketching out Junmyeon’s profile. Half-way through, he looks up, then back down, then up again, and his smiles a bit nervously.

“Did you mess up?” Junmyeon teases quietly.

“Never shave your head. You’ll look weird without hair,” Baekhyun deflects. Junmyeon smacks him playfully, his face contorted in mock offense. He peers over to look at what Baekhyun’s got down so far only for the other man to screech and slap the sketchbook to his chest, clasping his hands over it protectively. Junmyeon immediately blushes, shushing him, but that only makes the glint in Baekhyun’s eyes grow brighter. He doesn’t stop making weird growling noises until Junmyeon retracts his hand and looks away, embarrassed by Baekhyun’s antics. Then he leans forward to press a wet kiss to the back of Junmyeon’s neck, cackling when Junmyeon’s shoulders shrug up and he slaps his hand up to wipe away the spit. 

“He’s a handful, isn’t he?” The old woman next to Junmyeon asks. Her question is sweet, she looks hopelessly endeared by Baekhyun—who appears to have found another subject of attention, his pencil flying over the sketch. Junmyeon’s mouth curves into a smile, cheeks still blushed from earlier, and nods.

“A handful, yes, but I love him. I knew what I was getting into when I met him,” Junmyeon says, reaching over to clasp Baekhyun’s hand in his, delighting at the loving, little squeeze that Baekhyun gives him. It’s nice when they have positive interactions in public. Baekhyun’s someone who lives unapologetically. It’s hard to hide their relationship even if it is safer.

He’s happy when they board the plane. His excitement resurges. He can’t wait to meet Ms. Byun.

 

***

 

Baekhyun’s mother is a lot like him, Junmyeon decides, upon meeting the woman. She’s excitable, but carefully attuned to everyone else’s emotions. It’s uncanny, the similarities between them. She also seems to like Junmyeon, and for that, he’s extremely grateful. He thinks it’s probably in part due to the presents he insisted on bringing for everyone at the gathering, despite not knowing anyone yet, and in part due to his doting, extremely transparent, love for Baekhyun. He feels at home after only a few minutes in Baekhyun’s parents’ house. 

“Here, Junmyeon, bring this to my son. He forgot it here the last time he visited,” It’s a little ring, passed to him by Ms. Byun as he helps her cook. When he brings it to Baekhyun, the man crows in delight.

“This was my grandmother’s! I was so worried I’d lost it. Thank god it was here! My mom found it?” Junmyeon nods, explaining that she’d told him to bring it to Baekhyun. The man’s eyes sparkle. “You should wear it,” He ends up saying, “I had a similar ring made after I lost this one,” He flashes the hand with the copied ring on it before he slips the original onto Junmyeon’s finger.

“Is this a proposal?” Junmyeon jokes, grinning. Baekhyun snorts and slips the ring onto Junmyeon’s finger. 

“Guess we’re married now, huh?” Baekhyun says, grinning. Junmyeon’s heart flutters. He knows they’re joking, but he could easily see himself proposing to Baekhyun, or the other way around. He’s never felt more sure about a relationship in his life. 

“Guess so,” Junmyeon says, sitting down on the couch with a  _ whumpf  _ as he sinks into the cushions. He curls into Baekhyun’s side, snuggling up against him. Baekhyun wiggles until he gets comfortable, at which point he falls into the lull of easy conversation surrounding them both. And Junmyeon? Junmyeon feels loved.

They only stay at Baekhyun’s family’s into the first week of January, and then they are back home. Baekhyun has classes resuming once more and Junmyeon’s got a new show to present to some directors in town. 

 

***

 

It’s in April that Baekhyun ‘proposes’ the second time. 

“We’ve got to get back to Sehun’s birthday party,” Junmyeon mumbles. Baekhyun grins and pats Junmyeon’s thigh lovingly, getting up from his knees with a groan.

“Is it in bad taste if I propose on someone else’s birthday?” 

“Yes, so stop it. Let’s go have fun,” Junmyeon grips Baekhyun’s hand tightly and pulls him back inside the club. Junmyeon’s friends welcome them back with smirks and knowing looks. Junmyeon blushes, but Baekhyun basks in the attention, sending flying kisses and winks to anyone who so much as looks at them. Junmyeon is fond. 

He’s fond of Baekhyun. He’s fond of him when he’s flirting with other men and women. He’s fond of him despite every teasing swivel of his hips up on the dance floor. He’s fond of him even when Baekhyun crows with delight from across the crowd and grips another man in a hug that could rival one of their own.

Baekhyun’s quick to introduce them. “Junmyeon, this is Yixing. He’s my other boyfriend.” Which is a bombshell in and of itself. If Yixing wasn’t turning bright red and stumbling over excuses, Junmyeon would be a little worried, but as it is, he’s sure there’s a story behind Baekhyun’s words. “I asked him out in second-grade,” Baekhyun completes, to which Yixing giggles.

“He did, but I think it was an accident. We were both so bad at English back then. I think he wanted to be friends,” Yixing explains. He talks with his hands, Junmyeon notices idly. Junmyeon likes him. Baekhyun pecks his cheek playfully before stepping into Junmyeon’s side. 

“Yixing, this is Junmyeon. He’s my actual boyfriend,” He winks, pats Junmyeon’s arm, and continues, “He helped me take all of Minseok’s furniture out of his house two years ago.” Yixing gives a noise of recognition.

“How long have you guys been together, then,” Yixing asks, a knowing glint to his eyes when he looks over to Junmyeon. He must be able to see right through him; recognize all the love for what it is. 

“Just about two years. Our anniversary’s coming up in a week,” Both of them say at the same time, as if they’ve rehearsed it. They’d just celebrated their two years about two weeks ago. It seems as April is their month. Yixing laughs, brightly. His dimple’s cute, Junmyeon thinks. He clears his throat, “So, since you’ve known Baekhyun before he could presumably wipe his own butt–“

“I was wiping my ass in second grade, Myeon, don’t be mean!”

“What was baby Baekhyun like?” Junmyeon finishes, ruffling Baekhyun’s hair teasingly. His boyfriend scoffs in offense and excuses himself to go grab them some drinks. Yixing laughs and begins telling him about Baekhyun’s antics back in elementary school. Junmyeon’s even more hopelessly endeared by the time Baekhyun returns. Yixing gives Baekhyun a hug, creates a contact for himself in Baekhyun’s phone, and excuses himself again. His girlfriend’s texted him asking when they’ll be going. Junmyeon reminds them to drive safely, uber if they’ve had to much to drink. Yixing nods, says his goodbyes, and leaves them.

They could stay longer, but Baekhyun looks like he’s getting bored, especially now that Yixing’s left, so Junmyeon hastily says his goodbyes to Sehun and pulls Baekhyun back outside the club. Baekhyun stumbles on the way to the car, attaching sloppy kisses to Junmyeon’s neck and shoulder whenever he gets the chance. Junmyeon pats his head fondly and opens the passenger door for him, pushing him gently into the seat. He walks around to the other side and helps himself inside the car, reaching over to buckle Baekhyun’s seatbelt before he fastens his own.

They’re half way home when he hears Baekhyun moan. His gaze flicks over. His breath catches in his throat. As quickly as he’d glanced at Baekhyun, he’s looking back at the road, knowing that this is not the place to be distracted. Baekhyun whines, breathily, hardly more than a whisper, but Junmyeon recognizes the sound, can associate it with a dozen equally salacious images. He glances over again when they get stuck at a red light. Baekhyun’s hand is wrapped around his cock, his touches teasing and light. Junmyeon can see the tension in his neck, in the tendons of his arm. He sees the tell-tale quiver of Baekhyun’s legs as he gets close. He watches as Baekhyun slows his touches, edges himself.

A car honks behind them, startling Junmyeon. Baekhyun laughs breathlessly, digging his nail into the slit of his cock, biting his lip on the whine that tears its way up his throat. “You couldn’t wait?” Junmyeon whispers, driving through the green-light just a bit faster than is legal. Baekhyun snorts, moans again, and it takes all of Junmyeon’s willpower not to pull-over on the side of the road and give Baekhyun the attention he deserves. “What’s got you so worked up?”

“You,” Baekhyun says. Junmyeon looks over, meets his glistening eyes. His cheeks are flushed, his gaze somewhat glazed and unfocused. His chest rises and falls like the beat of Junmyeon’s heart. He’s got one hand shoved under his shirt, pinching his nipple, the other still runs up and down his cock in a steady rhythm, slowing only when he’s too close to the edge. Junmyeon’s mouth waters. He focuses back on the road, nearly misses the turn that’ll bring them into their neighborhood. 

He can’t move quickly enough once he parks the car. Baekhyun and he both scramble out of their seats, Baekhyun cursing when he gets himself tangled in his seatbelt. While he sorts himself out, Junmyeon unlocks the front door. As he pushes it open, Baekhyun collides with his back, insistent kisses placed behind Junmyeon’s ear, on his neck. Baekhyun’s hands claw at his belt all the while pushing them both inside their home. He kicks the door shut. It slams loudly. Junmyeon thanks whatever god there is that the door didn’t shatter.

He doesn’t have time to mull over the fact. Baekhyun’s got his belt undone and his hand wrapped around his cock unceremoniously. A moan rattles up and out of Junmyeon’s chest, embarrassingly loud. Neither of them think anything of it. Baekhyun only bites teasingly at Junmyeon’s neck, grinds his hips forward messily, needily, against Junmyeon’s ass. “Hey, you’re cute, wanna fuck?” He whispers harshly in Junmyeon’s ear. Junmyeon groans exasperatedly and pushes his ass back to meet Baekhyun’s dirty grind. The other man chokes on his spit, alarmingly close to the edge despite them having just started.

“Yeah, in bed,” Junmyeon says, turning around to grab both of Baekhyun’s hands and force him up and off of him. Baekhyun whines at the loss of contact. He looks ridiculous, his cock standing proudly against his shirt, his jeans hardly pushed down his thighs. Junmyeon tuts his tongue and starts on his way up the stairs, laughing loudly when he sees Baekhyun struggling to get himself out of his jeans, nearly tripping in the process. “Don’t be cruel!” Baekhyun yells at Junmyeon’s retreating form. Junmyeon shouts back that “He’d never!” and pushes his way into their bedroom. 

He shrugs off his shirt, his pants, and flops on his stomach on the bed. A couple of minutes later, he groans at the feeling of hands kneading his ass playfully. “Don’t tease, Baek,” he warns, pushing himself up. Baekhyun’s breath ghosts over the small of his back. He lays a kiss there, a few more, trailing up his spine and then back down. His fingers pull Junmyeon’s underwear down to the crease of his knees. Junmyeon lifts a leg at a time to help Baekhyun rid him of the garment completely. Once it’s gone, he has Baekhyun’s undivided attention once more. Baekhyun’s fingers pull apart his cheeks. He spits, startling a moan out of Junmyeon. He grips the sheets harder, shivers when Baekhyun drags a finger across his hole, teasingly light. Before Junmyeon can complain, he’s leaning in, licking a stripe from Junmyeon’s balls and swirling his tongue around Junmyeon’s hole. Junmyeon wants to sob, the sensation like lightning in his core, especially with the teasing Baekhyun had done in the car. 

Baekhyun seems just as impatient as he, however, and sits back, reaching over to grab proper lube. He fingers Junmyeon tenderly, but it’s when he slides his cock inside that Junmyeon loses all of his breath. “I love you,” Baekhyun whispers against his ear, pulling back just far enough so that when he thrust back in, Junmyeon jolts forward. Junmyeon turns his head to the side, kisses at Baekhyun’s jaw, tenderly, encouragingly. Baekhyun won’t last long, not with all the edging from earlier. He seems to know this too, and reaches around Junmyeon to grip his cock, tugging as best he can in time with his thrusts. He loses his focus, his thrusts becoming erratic, stuttering, as he comes, pulling Junmyeon’s ass flush against his hips. Junmyeon moans at the feeling of Baekhyun filling him, whispers soft encouragements, sweet nothings into the other man’s ear as he comes down from his long-awaited high.

Baekhyun soon regains his senses and immediately, he pulls out and helps Junmyeon flip over, sinking down on his cock in one fell swoop, his tongue hot against the shaft as he deep-throats Junmyeon. He gags, controls himself, and urges Junmyeon to grind against his face. Junmyeon grips his hair tight, his jaw tight, breath stopping, as he comes down Baekhyun’s throat not but a few minutes later.

They’re laying there, catching their breath when Baekhyun presses a lazy kiss to Junmyeon’s hip. “Marry me?” He whispers. Junmyeon hums. 

“Is this the real proposal?” He asks sleepily, basking in the afterglow of his orgasm. Baekhyun giggles lightly against his hip before rolling over to the nightstand again. He scoops out a velvet box and tosses it over at Junmyeon. Junmyeon pops it open, grins at the flower-shaped diamond and thin gold band. Baekhyun crawls up to Junmyeon’s height and plucks the ring out of the box, slipping it carefully onto Junmyeon’s finger wordlessly. Junmyeon grins, whispers that he’d love to marry Baekhyun, and kisses his cheek, the picture of contentedness.

 

It’s in April that he proposes the third, and last, time.

 

***

 

Baekhyun’s using an empty yogurt container as an ashtray again, much to Junmyeon’s chagrin. He’s also got his foot kicked up on the table, toe-nail clippers in hand. “You’re disgusting. We eat there,” Junmyeon comments without any malice. Baekhyun hums in acknowledgement, nods at the window.

“I forgot to open it before I started smoking, sorry,” he says softly. Junmyeon moves to open it wordlessly, setting his grocery bags down on the counter as he goes to do so. Baekhyun’s voice lacks the normal energy it ought to have, which worries Junmyeon, but he also knows that if Baekhyun planned to tell him anything he’d have done so already. Junmyeon knows it’s futile to ask him what’s wrong. Baekhyun’s one of those stubborn people that doesn’t want their emotions inspected. He doesn’t want pity. He won’t accept Junmyeon’s concern. So, Junmyeon will just let him work through it alone, all the while attempting to be as good as he can to Baekhyun; making sure he’s aware that if he does need to talk, Junmyeon’s more than willing to sit down with him. Baekhyun clears his throat, “Has Jongdae sent you pictures of his garden yet? All his flowers started blooming, he’s been talking about them like a proud parent to me all day.”

“Is that so?” Junmyeon chuckles, “He hasn’t sent me anything yet, though I’m sure he will.” He nods off in the direction of their sad little plant in the windowsill. “Ours still haven’t bloomed,” Junmyeon points out. Baekhyun snorts, says something about it probably being the smoke that’s keeping them from growing. Junmyeon rolls his eyes and begins washing vegetables for dinner. “How’s teaching going?” he says, switching the subject. Baekhyun smiles brightly, so much so that any worries he’d had about Baekhyun’s dour mood dissipate. The sparkle in his eyes is back. He exhales a long stream of smoke, letting it diffuse in the air before he starts telling Junmyeon about the kids. He’s got high-school juniors this year, and he’s never been happier teaching. He tells Junmyeon about the students that want to review with him after school in order to ensure they pass the coming AP exam, but also about the students that laze around in class and still somehow get by. All the while he talks, Junmyeon commits his joy to memory. The curl of Baekhyun’s lips, the occasional pout when he recalls something annoying, even the concentrated knit of his eyebrows when he’s trying to remember some detail about the day. 

“Are you even listening, Myeonie,” Baekhyun coos, no venom in his words. Junmyeon glances up, meets his gaze, and smiles dopily. Baekhyun laughs, takes another drag of his cigarette, and continues telling him about his favorite students. He mentions they’ve just turned in a video project, he’ll probably start watching and grading though while Junmyeon cooks dinner. 

He does do that, and the two of them spend the evening critiquing what each kid picks up on from the reading, which ones missed the point entirely. Baekhyun picks out the kids he knows shared their projects around, treating it like a fun puzzle. “Technically, it’s academic dishonesty if you were to ask the other teachers, but I like the idea of collaboration,” Baekhyun explains after playing two students’ videos one after the other, telling Junmyeon where they each borrowed each other’s points and where they expanded on each other’s arguments. There’s something about Baekhyun’s love for his students, love for his job, that makes Junmyeon’s heart flutter. “You’ve got that dumb smile on your face again,” Baekhyun points out fondly. Junmyeon just shakes his head, turning to go fill up a pot with water. For a moment, everything is bliss, then, “I called the doctor today.” The way Baekhyun says it suggests that Junmyeon doesn’t want to hear what the doctor has to say.

“He wants me to have some scans run for lung cancer given all the headaches and weight I’ve been losing lately.”

“You can’t have lung cancer.” Junmyeon says, voice hard. He hears Baekhyun sigh from where he’s sitting at the dinner table. 

“I could.” Baekhyun drums his fingers against the table and just barely restrains himself from playing the next project video and ending the conversation where it is. They should talk about this. The water in the pot nearly sloshes over the side when Junmyeon sets it down on the burner just a touch too hard. 

His voice is thin, unconvincing, “You won’t,” he says. 

“If I do?” 

“Baekhyun, you won’t.” Junmyeon’s tone is clipped. He’s trying so hard to keep the worry out of his voice. He looks up, and watches as Baekhyun avoids his gaze. He’s thumbing over the pack of cigarettes—for a brief moment, Junmyeon wants to rip them from his hands—then he sets them down on the table, sliding them away from himself. Junmyeon lets out a sigh of relief, too lowly for Baekhyun to hear it, but so full of emotion that he almost wishes he had. Maybe then, Baekhyun would understand how much it hurts him to see him smoking away his life.

“Do you ever think about how all the big things that happen to us happen in the spring?” Baekhyun finally says, after a long several minutes of silence. Junmyeon puts down the knife he’d been using to cut vegetables for the stew and looks up. Baekhyun continues, running one of his hands through his hair, lets it sit there twisted in the tangled strands, “We met in April. Got married in April.” He leans back in the chair, lets his head hang back uncomfortably. “I’ve essentially gotten diagnosed with a chronic disease–“

“Baekhyun, stop.”

“Do you think I’ll die next April?” Junmyeon’s mouth falls open, a strangled sound escaping him involuntarily. Baekhyun’s head snaps around, his gaze falling on Junmyeon then noticing the tears threatening to fall down Junmyeon’s face. Junmyeon watches as Baekhyun’s nonchalance falls apart and warps into both guilt and distress, his face twisting into a pained grimace. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, come here, Myeonie,” he calls out, holding out his hands. Junmyeon’s quick to leave the stove and pull his husband into a bone-crushing hug, half kneeling on the chair so that he can pull Baekhyun even more tightly into his embrace. He lets the tears fall. Baekhyun wipes them from his cheeks carefully, his hands shaking. Junmyeon knows he regrets what he said, but it doesn’t take back the fact that he put it up on the table. “I’m so sorry, look it’s not even confirmed or anything, the doctor just wanted me to check, it’s going to be okay, Myeon, I’m sorry I brought it up.” He’s blabbering now, concern written all over his face, all in the gentle touch of his hands.

“Please, don’t say that again, Baek. Promise me you won’t.” Junmyeon says reedily. He lets Baekhyun pet his hair and rub his back until his breathing has returned to normal. Baekhyun doesn’t promise, but it’s a wordless agreement that they won’t talk about it anymore. The exchange leaves a grey tension in the air for a while longer, but both of them do their part to ignore it. Baekhyun turns on the project-videos again and makes snide comments for Junmyeon’s entertainment, attempting to diffuse it all. Eventually, they’re laughing again, poking fun at some of the students’ points, agreeing with others. The tension is almost forgotten. Almost.

It’s still there even when they fall into bed for the night. Baekhyun’s just showered when he curls up to Junmyeon, pressing his forehead up against Junmyeon’s, meeting the other’s gaze carefully. Junmyeon takes in Baekhyun’s appearance, from the shaggy quality of his hair, to the deep chocolate brown of his eyes, the moles that speckle his face. Baekhyun leans in closer, his breath ghosting across Junmyeon’s nose, minty fresh. Junmyeon leans in and they kiss, slowly, lazily, and so, so full of love. Baekhyun’s kisses are apologetic, like he’s still trying to make up for earlier. Junmyeon’s are lingering, like he’s trying to savor Baekhyun’s taste. Like he’s trying to savor Baekhyun’s love because he’s terrified that one day he won’t get to do so. 

Baekhyun rolls them over, settles atop Junmyeon’s hips, and grinds down sinfully smooth. They’re not really chasing a high so much as enjoying one another’s company. Every drag of their hips sends warmth to their bellies, but every brush of their lips makes their hearts pulse all the stronger. Junmyeon’s tired, but he watches sleepily as Baekhyun’s mouth parts, soft pants leaving his lungs as he focuses on reaching his peak. Sweat runs down his brow, carving thin, shining lines in his face. His eyes are blown wide with lust, with want, “Baekhyun, you’re so pretty,” Junmyeon rasps, watching with bright eyes as Baekhyun leans his head back, baring his neck. He takes one hand off of Junmyeon’s chest to slide it up his own, tweaking a nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Junmyeon watches lazily. Then, he slides his hand up from Baekhyun’s thigh to put a gentle pressure up against his throat. He doesn’t have to do anything else before Baekhyun’s hips are stuttering and he groans, coming in his boxers. His pleasure dissolves into giggles as he leans forward to kiss Junmyeon’s lips tenderly once more. He rolls out of the bed to go clean himself up again, squeaking playfully when Junmyeon spanks him as he leaves, winking flirtily over his shoulder just before he closes the bathroom door again.

When he gets back in bed, he curls into Junmyeon’s side. “Everything’s going to be okay,” Junmyeon says softly, his voice barely audible, even though the rest of the room is silent. He doesn’t know if Baekhyun’s heard him. He doesn’t even know if he quite believes himself.

 

All will be well. It has to be.


	3. Chapter 3

“Jongdae and Minseok have invited us out to eat, are you free?” Junmyeon asks. Baekhyun stubs out his cigarette and pushes his hair out of his eyes. It’s AP season again, so he’s had late days at work helping the students get ready. Junmyeon doesn’t know if he has a study club this evening or not even though it  _ is  _ a Friday. 

“Yeah, I’m free. Sorry,” he says. His skin looks sallow. He looks sick. Junmyeon pulls him into a hug breathes in the pine scent underneath the cloud of cigarette smoke. 

He pulls back to look into Baekhyun’s eyes. “Are you okay?” He finally asks.

“Yeah, I think I’m getting sick, but I can’t miss any classes right now. It’d be doing the kids a disservice,” He says. Junmyeon tuts his tongue, tugging Baekhyun’s ear affectionately.

“Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, okay? I’ll tell Jongdae we’ll be there this evening. Why not you go take a nap and recharge, I’ll wake you up when it’s time to head over.” Baekhyun kisses his fingertips and smiles, going to do as told. The nap should help him, he’s always been able to bounce back easily once he’s had one.

That turns out not to be the case when he wakes up a few hours later, feverish and sniffling. “You go to Jongdae’s without me, it’ll be fine. They’ve probably cooked too much food for us to just cancel,” he mumbles, burying himself underneath the sheets. 

Junmyeon tuts, “Absolutely not, darling. Jongdae’s kids are voracious. I assure you they’ll be fine. Let me let them know now. I’m going to go pick up some meds from the drug store. Anything else you’d like?”

“Gatorade?” He asks. Junmyeon nods and makes a mental note. “Chocolate?” He snorts at that one, but agrees. Baekhyun smiles sickly from the bed and blows Junmyeon a kiss. 

When he returns he curls up next to Baekhyun despite the fact that he could get sick, resting his head on Baekhyun’s tummy. Baekhyun only protests for a minute before he gives up and rubs Junmyeon’s head fondly. “One of those little heathens probably sneezed on me and that’s why I’m this way.”

“They’re high-schoolers, they’ve got better manners. It was probably someone like Sehun or something,” Junmyeon proposes. Baekhyun snorts, then chokes and sneezes. Junmyeon winces sympathetically. “Just get some rest, Hyunnie. Maybe you’ll be better by Monday and won’t have to miss class.” That encouragement seems to be enough. Baekhyun hums a little tune, but it trails off as he finally succumbs to sleep. Junmyeon kisses his forehead and goes to make himself something for dinner.

 

***

 

Baekhyun does recover for Monday and by Friday he’s back to his regular, cheery self. 

He waltzes into the apartment with an air of excitement, kicking off his shoes at the door and slinging his bag over the couch, before turning to Junmyeon with the widest grin on his face. He does a little flourish of his hand, to Junmyeon’s increasing amusement, and procures two pretty, pink tickets. “Look at what my students bought me, Myeonnie, my love,” he says, dancing over to where Junmyeon’s sat working on a new script and dropping the tickets onto his keyboard neatly. Junmyeon picks them up, peering down at them curiously. He doesn’t have his glasses on. 

Baekhyun puts his hands on Junmyeon’s shoulders, then perches his chin on his head, waiting with unconcealed excitement for Junmyeon to finish reading. Junmyeon reaches up to ruffle Baekhyun’s hair affectionately as he flips the tickets over, finally realizing what they are for. “Are these for the flower festival coming up?”

“They are for the flower festival  _ today  _ and the garden of lights later tonight!” Baekhyun supplies, reaching over to pluck the tickets out of Junmyeon’s hands happily. He deposits them on the dinner table and swings around to the fridge, opening it and reaching for a styrofoam box of leftovers. Indian? Lebanese? Junmyeon doesn’t remember.

But, he’s hardly concerned, not when Baekhyun’s so obviously excited about having the tickets. “So, what’s the big occasion?”

Baekhyun pops open the lid and opens the cutlery drawer to grab a fork. He shovels a bite of curry into his mouth, then talks around his food, to Junmyeon’s chagrin, “ _ Well,  _ their AP exams are in May, so they got me my birthday present early.” He leans up against the island as he munches, “And they remembered me talking about how our first date was  _ easily  _ our best date, so they thought it’d be a good anniversary gift.” He swallows. “Shame it’s not next weekend, on our  _ actual  _ anniversary. The festival’s early this year.”

“Well, I noticed that,” Junmyeon says sarcastically, but he’s smiling. He’s excited to go back to the festival. They hadn’t gone for a long while, despite it being their most memorable date, they’re always too busy. But, the festival is on a Friday this year. They can go and then hit a bar afterward to unwind for the rest of the night. Both he  _ and  _ Baekhyun need it after the hectic months they’ve been having. “What are you going to wear?”

“Something that makes me look like husband material. Should we match?”

“Absolutely not, you nerd,” Junmyeon shoots back, chuckling. Baekhyun gasps in mock offense and puts the curry back in the fridge. He comes back over to the couch and swings himself over the arm and into Junmyeon’s lap, heedless of the laptop that Junmyeon just barely pushes to the side in time. They both laugh, letting their little giggles subside slowly.

Baekhyun looks down at him with a softness that few could ever emulate, if any at all. It’s in the way that his eyes sparkle, shine so happily. It’s in the little smile lines at the corners of his eyes. It’s in the soft tilt of his brows. Then it’s the little scrunch of his nose, wiggle of his head, and blinding smile. It is so characteristically  _ him  _ that Junmyeon doesn’t think he could ever find the same emotion in anyone else.

He couldn’t ever love anyone else.

Baekhyun kisses his forehead, then slides off the couch to walk off into their bedroom. Junmyeon opens his laptop again and works on finding a place to stop his script. When Baekhyun reappears he’s in a soft, pastel pink sweater and light wash jeans. Junmyeon’s heart skips a beat as Baekhyun rummages in the hallway closet for a handbag. He closes his laptop and rises up off the couch, walking past Baekhyun on the way to their bedroom. He slaps Baekhyun on the butt in passing, grinning at the pleased little yelp Baekhyun lets out.

Their shared closet still smells like cigarette smoke, despite Baekhyun having quit a few months ago. He wrinkles his nose just slightly and fishes out a presentable outfit, shrugging it on in record time before joining Baekhyun in the main room. “Should I write your students a thank-you note? For sending me on such a cute, meaningful date with my husband?” He murmurs in Baekhyun’s ear, pressing a soft kiss against his neck. Baekhyun writhes, his neck ticklish, and barks out a laugh.

“I’m sure they’d love that. They love you from that one time you subbed for me when I got stuck in that airport.”

“I’m so glad I left a good impression,” Junmyeon says, surprised. Baekhyun pats his hand lovingly.

“You leave a good impression on everyone, Myeon. You’re just like that, lovable and all,” Baekhyun says as he leads them out of the apartment and turns to lock the door. Junmyeon waits patiently, all smiles as they make their way down to the car. Baekhyun gets into the driver’s seat, waits for Junmyeon to buckle in, then reverses out of the parking lot and maneuvers them into the street.

Junmyeon reaches over to turn on the radio, grinning when Girl’s Generation is the first thing that blares through the speakers. Baekhyun picks up the song in no time, singing it unabashedly as he drives them towards the city park and the waiting flower festival. “So, I forgot that the park is really close to Sehun and Jongin’s new apartment. Instead of bar hopping afterwards, why not we go see them and the new baby?” Baekhyun says.

“That sounds like fun,” Junmyeon agrees, looking out of the window. Baekhyun reaches over and squeezes his thigh affectionately. Junmyeon looks over, quirks a grin, and offers his hand instead. Baekhyun takes it and holds it tightly, still humming to the song under his breath. Junmyeon’s eyes flutter shut as he waits for them to arrive. He feels safe, loved, whenever he’s with Baekhyun. He’s glad to have him.

 

***

 

The festival is lovely from the moment they step through the park gates and hand their tickets in. It’s not like it’s expensive to get in, but the festival does go above and beyond for the price. Roses of every color decorate the gardens in rows. Tulips are lines in pretty little patters. Other assorted flowers that Junmyeon could never even hope to name decorate other rows and gates inside the park. 

There are a few benches obviously designed to make good sets for pictures, so Junmyeon has Baekhyun sit down on several for little impromptu photoshoots. He cherishes each little photo and sends them all off to his mother, who’d grown more than fond of Baekhyun since she met him. She’ll find them cute, enjoy them just as much as Baekhyun will when he gets to see them. Baekhyun’s more spontaneous with his memory-making, though. He tugs Junmyeon off on random paths, crouches down with him in random little patches to snap pictures, then is already on the move. 

If it were anyone else, Junmyeon might think they were careless or lived too fast to sit back and enjoy the moment, but it’s Baekhyun, and Junmyeon knows what he’s like by now. He knows Baekhyun absorbs it all, finds his joy by living in the fast lane. The festival, in that regard, seems to whiz by, but as the sun goes down, Junmyeon’s reminded of the back of the tickets. They’re going to see a light garden as well. He can already see all the wire frame set up around the garden, and they’re interesting even just like that, but he’s sure they’ll be utterly  _ gorgeous  _ once the dark fully sets in and the lights go on.

He’s right. When they flicker to life, it makes Baekhyun flinch (clearly he had forgotten that they were a part of the excursion). They illuminate his surprised little face, but they can’t shine more brightly than his joy when he processes what has happened. “Look, Myeon!” He points. He grabs Junmyeon’s hand and continues to bring him around the park, pointing at the sculptures, snapping pictures to show his students later.

But, for all his energy, Baekhyun needs to recharge. Junmyeon notices when he grows more tired. He repeats himself more, struggles to string together his thoughts coherently. Junmyeon rubs the back of his neck gently, tugging Baekhyun close. “Why not we head over to Sehun’s now, then we can head in for the night, love?” Baekhyun drags his attention away from the gleaming lights onto Junmyeon’s face. He nods slowly, smiling, and lets Junmyeon tug him close as they leave the park and return back to the car. “Do you still want to drive?” Baekhyun nods, he’s not  _ that  _ tired, he says under his breath.

They leave, Junmyeon reaching over to dial the radio to something soft, more relaxed for the night-time ambience. Baekhyun still hums along to the tune with him, but they’re much quieter than they were coming to the park. It’s a comfortable silence, though. Just enjoying one another’s company on the way to Sehun’s. The city at night is full of familiar sounds, the siren of emergency vehicles, the honks of car horns, the buzz of street lights, and chatter of people enjoying the street life.

 

Baekhyun pulls up close to a fire hydrant and leans over to Junmyeon’s side, peering up at the apartment building. “Is this it?” He asks. Junmyeon looks up, finding the apartment block at least  _ semi- _ familiar, but he doesn’t know. He calls Sehun, giving a little “aha!” when Sehun appears on the steps in front. Baekhyun makes a noise of excitement and puts the car in park, promising Junmyeon, “It’s okay because we’ll only be there for a few minutes, I promise. If there’s any fire, I’ll move it.” Barking with laughter when Junmyeon rolls his eyes. 

“How was the festival?” Sehun asks as they both close their car doors. Baekhyun looks up at his voice and grins. 

“Wonderful! Want to see the pictures?” Sehun lets them inside. Their new apartment’s really nice, the design homey, but modern. Baekhyun likes it and says as much. “How’s the kid?” Jongin appears from the hallway, glasses low on his nose, spit staining his shirt. Baekhyun makes a little,  _ Ah,  _ of understanding.

“Seems like he goes to bed pretty early. Y’all are lucky!” Junmyeon says positively. Jongin and Sehun laugh.

“Until he wakes up in the middle of the night. I think he’s making a habit out of it!” Jongin says softly. Baekhyun snorts and ruffles his hair as he approaches for a hug. 

“Let us know if you need someone to babysit,” He offers.

“Back would probably be perfect to watch him overnight, as an insomniac it’s not like Jihae’d be keeping him up or anything.” Baekhyun swats at Junmyeon, but it’s a playful hit, charged with affection. Jongin invites them into the living room where they all collapse down onto the sofa and chat about their lives. It’s not been  _ too  _ long since they’ve seen each other, but it’s been long enough. 

Sehun offers wine, which Junmyeon gladly accepts. Baekhyun declines good-naturedly and launches into a conversation about Jongin’s new dance studio. “I have a friend, Yixing, and I know he’s been looking for a job lately, I could recommend you?”

“That would be nice, hyung,” Jongin says.

It’s getting late. They were only meant to stay and chat for a few minutes before heading home, and Baekhyun says as much after a little while more. Junmyeon finishes off his glass and gets up. “Come back when Jihae’s awake next time!” Sehun says, giving Baekhyun a hearty hug before pulling back and doing the same to Junmyeon.

“Be careful getting back home, okay?” Jongin frets, showing them outside. Baekhyun buckles in and starts the car, Junmyeon flopping into the passenger seat. They wave as they pull out. Baekhyun looks in the mirror just to make sure Jongin gets back inside okay. 

“I can’t wait to crawl into bed,” Junmyeon says, reclining his seat a little bit and relaxing. Baekhyun hums, paying careful attention to the road. “I’ve got rehearsals tomorrow,” he informs. Baekhyun gasps, mutters about having to get back faster so he can make sure Junmyeon gets well-rested. It brings a laugh up out of him. “Don’t be silly, just drive safe, honey.” 

Drive safe.

The light turns green. He glances both ways just to make sure no one’s coming, sees no headlights, and accelerates.

Thinking back, it is muted impact. Almost as if it is expected, though it most certainly is not. He remembers taking a breath. No scream. Neither of them scream. The only sound, the pervading sound, is his breath. The draw, the way it rattles in his lungs. How it grates out of his throat.

How it stops.


	4. Chapter 4

“Don’t you think it’s more fitting to be looking at wedding flower arrangements around this time of year? Spring’s for weddings and shit like that,” He comments, thumbing the petal of one of the lilies in the arrangement before him. Jongin doesn’t deign to respond, shaking his head and gripping him by the arm to take him to the next array that the florist prepared for them to look at. The woman won’t meet his eyes, communicates the prices, the flowers, the meaning all to Jongin. Maybe she can see that ultimately, he doesn’t want to talk to her about it. She wouldn’t understand the  _ depth  _ of hurt. She couldn’t  _ hope _ to relate to him, not now. Not when he feels as if his heart’s been plucked from his chest.

“He wouldn’t want all white,” he says thinly, looking away from the displays and back at the shelves of normal flowers. “His mother would, but not him.” He walks through the aisles then, leaving Jongin behind to deal with the florist. “Primrose,” he names, catching sight of the pretty little flowers. “Carnations. Orchids.” The florist mumbles something about the colors, the meanings, it’s not as cohesive as what she’s arranged.

“I don’t care if it is the ugliest array of flowers. I want the ones that mean love. Happiness. Anything but grief and death.  _ Anything,”  _ he says, almost pleading.

Jongin’s voice is mellow, placating. “Why don’t you step outside, Baekhyun, and I’ll handle the flowers?” 

He means to pay for the normal arrangements. The lifeless ones. No color. No passion. Baekhyun looks over at him and sees worry swirling in the other man’s eyes. He stands there, his tongue poised for a cruel retort, before dropping his gaze and agreeing to wait outside. He shouldn’t be so difficult.

Jongin leaves the store a few minutes later, stuffing his wallet in his pocket. “Do you think they ever feel bad charging you for a funerary arrangement?”

“I think they empathize, but this is their job, Baekhyun. It’s not like they choose whose funerals will give them business.”

“We should have gone somewhere else, Jongin. She couldn’t even look me in the eye.”

“She tried, but you wouldn’t have it, so she respected your distance. Do you want to go home?” He redirects before Baekhyun can retort to Jongin’s implication that Baekhyun was the one at fault for the tension in the shop. Baekhyun’s silent. Stands with his hands hanging limply at his sides. 

He sighs. “I don’t want to go home.” Home isn’t home without  _ him.  _ He’s not sure he’ll ever be able to live in that apartment again. “I-” his voice breaks. He doesn’t want Jongin to see him break down. He doesn’t want to be the source of his friend’s worry. “I’m just going to walk around a little bit. Maybe go to the park. I’ll- I’ll call if I need anything?” The request for space is clear as day, and yet, Jongin only presses closer. He tugs him to his car and Baekhyun doesn’t know why he can’t resist. 

It’s like he needs to be with someone just as much as he hates it.

He cries in the car. He tries to hold back, but it’s like a torrent, a combination of emotions. Resentment, denial, anger, it all pours out of him as vitriolic as poison. And Jongin’s a good friend, lets him cry it all out and doesn’t comment on it. Lets him sniffle and sob, then holds out a pack of Kleenex for Baekhyun to wipe up his snot with.

“Do you keep the Kleenex for Jihae or me at this point?”

“Both of you. You’re both disgusting,” Jongin says good-naturedly, patting Baekhyun’s shoulder soothingly. Baekhyun sniffles.

“Junmyeon would have handled everything so much better. Why wasn’t it me?”

Jongin pulls in front of his apartment, placing the car in park. “Because that’s not the way the world works. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Sometimes things happen, you’ve just gotta keep living.” He opens Baekhyun’s door and closes it behind him. He pauses at the top of the steps, keys in hand, and looks back. “You’re going to be okay, all right?”

Baekhyun nods, wipes at his face with a clean, though crumpled, tissue and follows Jongin inside. Sehun looks up from his laptop, a greeting dying on his tongue when he sees Baekhyun’s face. Baekhyun gives him a weak smile. Sehun’s hurting too. Sehun’s known Junmyeon much longer than him. He shouldn’t be so selfish. Baekhyun waves a little in greeting before he excuses himself from the situation, walking back to the guest room he’s moved into and collapsing onto the bed. 

Sleep comes easily. When he dreams, Junmyeon’s still there with him.

 

***

 

The funeral’s on a Wednesday and he returns to class on a Monday. Jongin had requested he take more time off, Sehun worrying that Baekhyun wasn’t in the right mind to go back, but truthfully? It’s nice to get back into his routine. It distracts him from thinking about the accident. It helps him compartmentalize his day. That being said, just because he would like to keep his grief removed from his workplace, doesn’t mean that it happens.

He grows tired of the sympathetic looks given by his coworkers on that first day back. He grows irate at every well-wishing. It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate it to some degree, but it just reminds him of what’s happened. It’s different when he gets to his students though. It’s like the very second he sets his laptop case down on his desk that everyone comes to attention. He turns around, plastering a smile to his face, and sees that the majority of  _ them  _ are just as sullen as he feels. 

They stare at him and he stares at them. It’s a dense silence. Then, one of the girls in front takes out her notebook. It’s like the tension snaps. They’d shared but a moment, but it was enough. A simple understanding between his students—his metaphorical kids—and him. Junmyeon had subbed for them a few times. It’s not like some faceless individual had died. “We were on page two twenty-three, Mr. Byun,” Someone supplies helpfully. Baekhyun nods.

“Of course, then let’s get started. The AP test is right around the corner, isn’t it. We’ve still got the Second World War to cover!” 

Things keep going. People move on.

He’s beginning to think that’s okay.

 

***

 

“Jongin told me to take you out on a walk tonight,” Yixing says, meeting Baekhyun at the bus stop. Baekhyun cocks his head, then gestures at his laptop case and book bag. Yixing tuts his tongue and points out his scrappy, old car. Baekhyun sighs and acquiesces, tossing his bags in the trunk and eyeing Yixing dubiously as he locks the car again. “I promise if someone steals it, I’ll buy you a replacement,” he says, referring to the laptop. 

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. 

“All right, I definitely can’t afford that, but I’d still make it up to you,” he remedies. Baekhyun snorts. That’s more like the Yixing he knows and loves. “Come on now. I don’t want to stay out too late, you know?” 

They walk side by side in no particular direction. The company is nice. The silence too. 

Baekhyun breaks it. “How’s Mingzhu?”

“She’s doing well. I think she’s the one.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We just, work together. Like, there are still the ups and downs, but we’re always willing to sit down and talk it out. I’ve asked her parents and all if they would be okay with it, and I have their blessing, but I don’t know when to do it.” Yixing says, rambling a little bit. It’s endearing. Baekhyun smiles.

He kicks a rock and watches it bounce on the sidewalk ahead of them, “You know I proposed to Junmyeon like three times. He thought the first two were jokes.” Glancing at Yixing’s horrified face, Baekhyun barks out a laugh and corrects himself. “They were- jokes, but if he’d said yes it’d have been real any of those times.” He pauses, thinking back to the first one. “Maybe not, I’d only just met him when I proposed the first time.”

Yixing giggles, “That sounds like something you’d do.”

“There really is no… right way to do it, you know? If they’re the one, it’s okay no matter how you do it. Just… don’t wait until it’s too late, okay?” He says softly. Yixing nods somberly and looks down at his feet. They walk in silence a bit longer. 

Yixing clears his throat. “If she says yes, will you be my best man? It’s just that we’ve been friends for so long, it feels right. But, I understand if it’s too early or-”

“Of course, Yixing. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’d… love to be a part of that for you,” He soothes. Yixing sighs in relief. Baekhyun’s been better at putting things in perspective since the crash. Lives a little more in the moment. He wouldn’t refuse Yixing’s offer over something long past.

 

***

 

“Junmyeon was fond of you,” Ms. Kim states. She’s not touched her food yet. Baekhyun hasn’t either. He sits rigidly wishing that he hadn’t reached out. “I can’t help but feel like you caused this,” she continues calmly. Baekhyun’s eyes flutter closed. He hears his mother’s sharp intake of breath, perceives the way his father pauses with food halfway to his mouth.

“He was fond of me. And you,” Baekhyun says, mediating. Ms. Kim’s words are cold and defensive. She hasn’t realized that Baekhyun understands her pain better than anyone else. “I’m sorry I didn’t speak to you at the funeral. I… was hurting,” He supplies, heart aching at the memory. He still makes no move to pick up his chopsticks. He blinks open his eyes and meets Ms. Kim’s gaze. They sit at an impasse.

“Oh, I’m sure,” She says, her tone quick and barbed. Ms. Kim’s a pretty woman, despite the weary wrinkles inscribed in her face, the cruel glint in her eyes, the sad turn of her lips. Ms. Kim is the type of woman that never did come to terms with the idea of her son’s sexuality. Baekhyun can see it written all over her face.

“Of course you are. You felt the same, didn’t you?” Baekhyun says softly, his eyebrows softening with something akin to sympathy. “You may not like me, Ms. Kim, but you loved your son. If that is the only thing we have in common, then let it be, but don’t question me, Ms. Kim, I loved him too.” For a moment, he believes Ms. Kim will challenge him. Her fists are so tight, her knuckles turn white. 

Then, she lets go of all of that tension and picks up her chopsticks. It’s too quick a de-escalation for her to really give up her grievances with him, but Baekhyun will play along for the rest of the dinner. If this is the first step to healing, then let it be that first step for them. Baekhyun would like to have some sort of relationship with his mother-in-law. Junmyeon would have wanted it, and since Junmyeon wasn’t there to take care of her anymore, Baekhyun may as well offer her his hand and help.

“I hear there’s a festival coming to town,” she comments tentatively. Ms. Byun plasters a smile on her face and becomes the gentle, congenial woman Baekhyun’s so familiar with.

“Yes, it comes every April. Perhaps Baekhyun can take you to see the flowers. That’s where he and Junmyeon had their dates, you know!” Baekhyun spoons some soup into his mouth, listening with half a mind.

“Maybe,” Junmyeon’s mother says. “I might be busy that weekend, though,” she says betraying the fact that she’d very much  _ not  _ like to go with Baekhyun.

“His favorite flowers were Forget-Me-Nots,” Baekhyun says smoothly, looking up to meet Ms. Kim’s gaze. She pauses. “They stand for true love and memories. Those were his favorites.”

“He would like them, wouldn’t he,” she says, nodding.

 

He takes her to the festival.

Perhaps they can be friends. They’re similar people, after all.

 

***

 

There comes a time when his students don’t know Junmyeon. It takes a little, since he teaches the upperclassman, for an entirely new student body to rotate into the school, but when it happens, it’s both a blessing and a curse. They’re less careful with their words, their jokes. In some cases, it’s refreshing. In others, it just sends a pang to his heart. He’s learned to live with it though. Truthfully, it’s disappointing when his students ask who’s in the picture frame on his desk, because Baekhyun can’t keep the sadness out of his eyes even if he’s accepted what’s happened.

“Baek-”

“Mr. Byun,” He corrects, fiddling with the settings on the Smart Board in hopes that it will allow him to write on it. 

“Who’s this guy?” Baekhyun doesn’t have to turn around to know what the students are talking about. Still, he looks up and seeing the familiar picture clutched in their graphite stained hands (probably smudging it all over the white frame) sighs, straightening up and plucking it from their hands.

He sets it back on his desk, turning it so that he’ll sit it when he sits down. “That’s Junmyeon. He was my best friend.” 

They catch on to the tense—they always do. Instead of the room growing somber, someone pipes up from the back, points out their best friend sitting across the room. Probably just trying to diffuse any tension before it can even brew. It works. The class grins and takes the out, pointing out their best friends and lamenting over how Baekhyun’s separated everyone to keep them from misbehaving. 

He returns to fiddling with the board, but not before calling out to everyone that they can move desks and sit by who they’d like, if they wanted. There’s a ruckus as everyone switches chairs. A few people stay where they are, already content with the students sat near them, but others congregate towards their friend groups. Baekhyun waits until everyone’s settled, then begins the lesson.

It’s all right, now.


	5. Chapter 5

On April 23, Baekhyun takes them all to the flower festival. He shows them all of the beautiful flowers, points out his favorites, and chases Jihae down the paths and around the lights.

On April 23, they all tell each other to drive safely on the way to Jongdae and Minseok's home, where they'll be having dinner. Baekhyun doesn't drive anymore, but walks instead. Ms. Kim walks with him. It had become a ritual for the two of them to see the flowers together. It was an inevitable friendship.

Therefore, it's Ms. Kim that is the one to tell her mother to mother, aching heart to aching heart, several hours later. Ms. Kim is the one that lets her know her son is gone, but that it was as quick as they come. It's Ms. Kim that watches his mother crumple and gathers her up into her arms.

On April 23, he's free of the grief. 

 

***

 

_ “There are no happy endings. _

_ Endings are the saddest part,  _

_ So just give me a happy middle _

_ And a very happy start.” _

\- Shel Silverstein

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! You can find me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/sophluorescent)


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